Personal confessions: I caught myself dropping the ball big time twice over the past week and I figure if I'm going to write advice out to all of you, it's important to point out that I need to take my own sometimes.
First of all, this blog post is late. Even if nobody else noticed it didn't go up on Sunday as per usual, I did. Writing to all of you is something I enjoy for various reasons including how I want Date Mail to reflect more than being a subscription box. The goal is to make it a place you can find relationship tips and for you to get to know the face behind it all: ME! Because I like getting to know all of you! However, life got in the way as it often does and I smack myself on the wrist for that.
Secondly, everybody that knows me agrees that I am finally in the relationship of a lifetime. I found 'the one' that makes me happiest and my world without him is unimaginable. Without a doubt, one of our biggest strengths is our communication and even other people comment on it. We don't push each others buttons and say things we wish we hadn't and we have never had an argument. That sounds abnormal to some people however, I beg to differ because when two adults can have a proper conversation, it is by definition, not an argument. And it typically turns out that what could have been a big deal actually doesn't need to be because instead of bottling things up and making a mountain out of a molehill, we often end up laughing and admitting nothing is ever such a big deal to argue over. Does it really matter if you wash the dishes differently than the other person? There isn't always a right way and a wrong way to do things, so why waste your precious time together poking at things that don't matter?
For the first time ever, we dropped the ball.
We caught ourselves thinking we were on the same page about something that does matter when it turns out we weren't at all. And it felt like crap.
Here's the thing though. Because we have such a strong foundation, we were able to deal with it and catch the ball before it bounced a second time and made things worse. It was a lesson to be pro-active versus reactive and ultimately, brought us closer. Why? Because we made the conscious decision to make sure that was the end result.
So, my two questions are this:
~ Are you on the same page as your partner when it comes to things that truly matter?
~ Are your communication skills equipped to handle the balls that drop?
Because balls will drop more than once.
It's just a matter of making sure it doesn't happen any more often than necessary. What our opinion on something was once upon a time may have changed and how is your partner supposed to know if you don't pipe up and tell him/her?
Incredibly blessed to have the relationship I do puts it mildly. I never thought I would find what we have and that is very likely why I gravitate towards running a business like Date Mail and writing these articles. Once I found out that the love I deserve exists, I just want to shout out to people that they too can find it and keep it if they make the effort it requires.
So, there you have it. This Love Diva has lessons to remind herself of as well and if this strikes a chord with even just one person reading this and motivates them to tweak their communication skills so they can be best they can be, then it was a story worth sharing!
Now, if you'll excuse me, my guy is waiting for me to join him for a date night! What shall I wear?
Tara Lehman, a.k.a. Love Diva